THE RAT CAGE

Ratty is a nutcase with more imaginary friends than real ones. Her favourite imaginary friend is Ada, the perpetually pissed, postively evil star of a thirteen part story about what happens when you screw with destiny. As the current ruler of the known universe (she was a goddess in her past life) Ratty has control over the destiny of all you mere mortals and feels it is her responsibility to inflict as much torture as she can, be that in the form of her interpretation of rock/pop music, invented alien mating rituals, or arguments about gender equality. Besides all that, Ratty dreams of aliens, babies and causing even more havoc. When she grows up (which she may do sometime soon), she is going to write a series of books about interspecies relationships and diplomacy (and Ada) and seek out revenge on an entire group of childhood foes. She may or may not launch a singing career, become a movie director, or hang out with celebrities. At the moment, she is subjected to earning dough via mortal means as the budgeting, forecasting and course costing/profitability manager at the third largest university in Queensland. In the past, she has spent 1.5 years doing the budgets and appeasing academics in the business school for said university, 6 years as an auditor for a big 4 accounting firm (in two countries), and 7 years picking up after people and vacuuming as a clothing sales assistant. She also slaved over dirty, sexy money for 3.5 years as a bank teller and foreign currency specialist and once did invoicing for her uncle's computer company. She has been known to baby sit on occasion (at risk to all involved) and to mark exams harshly for students trying to get their CA qualifications. Furthermore, for some strange reason, the Queensland University of Technology decreed it acceptable to grant her two degrees - one in accounting and one in sociology, meaning she is now entitled to be a soap-box nerd. This situation was further exacerbated in September 2011 when the ICAA granted her a Gradaute Diploma in Chartered Accounting. The university she works for (Griffith University) has subsequently allowed her to start studying a Double Masters in International Business and International Relations, as she endeavours to gain more letters after her name than in it. To achieve this goal, she hopes to one day undertake further study in anthropology, theology, political science and ancient history and to do her MBA at Harvard because she doesn't like keeping money for a rainy day. Her greatest desires are to be more famous than Shakespeare and to procreate with a sexy alien (or human). She is currently taking applications for the sexy alien/human role. She is fine with hybridity, so applications from half breeds will be accepted and perused with interest. As imaginary friends cannot have livejournal accounts, she will not knock back applications from real people wishing to be friends with her. This may be conducted at some risk to the applicant.

Ratty now bids you all good eternity and hopes you don't feel the need to report her, or yourself, to psychological services.

Ratty can be found at three locations - http://www.fanfiction.net/~ratty ~or~ http://www.fictionpress.net/~ratty

She can also be found on facebook here -> http://www.facebook.com/taravanbeurden